Finding great friends are often the most valuable relationship you can own. Your friends are who you will share your greatest joyous and most devastating difficulties with. They accept you as you are even if your best friend ends up being of the opposite. These friendship teach you a great deal about respect, but they can also be one of the most challenging friendships to maintain. One of the most common difficulties that opposite-sex friendships face is when one person ends up falling in love with the other. What to do if you fall in love with your best friend? These feelings can be intense and frightening, then should you reveal your true feelings or keep them to yourself? Read on to learn just what you should do.
What to Do When You Fall in Love with Your Best Friend?
Know the consequences
While you may be tempted to go running and professing your undying love to your friends, you want to hold off. You want to think thoroughly about the consequences that can come from letting your friend know how you feel. It isn't easy to keep these intense feelings bottled up, and it's not recommended that you say out right now because there are many ways your friend may react.
Your friend may be completely taken aback with your profession, especially since up until you tell them, there probably hasn't been any sexual or romantic interactions between the two of you. When you confess how you feel, your relationship will most likely change. Your friend may feel weird or you may feel uncomfortable around them now. There is also a chance that your friend may not have come to terms with their own feelings towards you. Their first reaction when you tell them may not be what you expect, but it also may not reflect how they truly feel about you.
Think about your words
You know your friend the best, so think carefully about how you will tell them about your feelings. If you know being too straightforward or blunt like saying “I'm deeply in love with you” would be too much, then you want to tone down your words. While you want to be honest, you don't want to scare them off.
What to do when you fall in love with your best friend? It will take some planning on how you will tell them. You can start by letting them know that your feelings have changed or ask them if they have considered being more than just friends. While these phrases may not completely emphasize how you feel, they are still honest. This will also make it easier for the two of you to begin to talk about how you are feeling and how they might be feeling as well.
When it comes to matters of the heart, you really want to listen carefully. Deciding to change your friendship from just friends to romantic partners can be a scary transition. Your friend may be nervous to make that transition or they may not want to make that transition at all, which is why you need to hear what they have to say carefully too.
If your friend doesn't have the same mutual feelings, then you need to respect that. It might hurt to hear but if they tell you with empathy, then you can decide whether or not to continue to have a just friends relationship with them. Don't push your friend or convince them that you should be more than friends. They may react in a surprised or confused way, which is understandable. Again, don't push them to tell you how they fell, just let them know that you are willing and available to talk when they are ready.
How to Fall Out of Love with Your Best Friend
Address your feelings
It will be painful to be rejected by your friend and you will need to accept that pain to get over it. You also want to check in on your feelings. Where you really in love with them? Intense romantic feelings can make you act in a way that you may not otherwise have acted. If you find that you can't stop thinking about them and, even though you try, you can't find any flaw in them, you might very well be in love with them. Make sure that you have these strong feelings before you decide what to do about the relationship after you have told them.
Allow yourself to have some space
It is hard to feel as though you have been rejected especially by someone you have a great friendship with. You may not want to completely end the friendship you have, but you do want to take some time to let your feelings heal. You don't want to see them on a regular basis while you are deciding what to do about the relationship now. Have a few excuses as to why you can't hang out and don't give them all of you attention when you do hang out.
After giving yourself time to heal, give yourself permission to date others casually. You don't want to jump right into a new relationship, but you can get out there and meet someone new. What to do when you fall in love with your best friend after they have rejected you? Spend some time with other people who may just be interested in and see where things will go.
Being rejected can leave you feeling unworthy, insecure, and angry. The best thing you can do is be kind to yourself. Practicing daily actions of self-care will help you heal the broken heart while also build your confidence up. Meditation is one of the best and easiest self care practices you can do to stay connected to your present feelings and forgive yourself for any past mistakes.
Rebuilding the relationship
When you are ready to continue with the friendship, then you want to first ensure that what you both want. If you both can move on and remain friends, then start off by just hanging out with them in a group. It may be too difficult for you to be alone with your friend especially if you are still having strong feelings towards them, so hanging out in a group will ensure that you aren't left alone with them for too long. Once you have decided that you want to remain friends, then you need to accept that you will only be friends and be happy that you have that much with them. Be content with the relationship you have while you pursue a romantic relationship with someone else.