Men, let’s get one thing out of the way. Women like to have as much sex as men do. The only reason they’re not open about their desires is because of how quickly people are ready to label sexual women as sluts. If a woman doesn't want to sleep with you, you have to figure out the reason and then move things forward step by step.

Why She Won't Sleep with You

She might like you, she might even want to have sex, but she still chooses not to have sex with you. What could the reasons possibly be?

She’s not comfortable with you

It doesn’t matter how good looking you are. It doesn’t matter how confident you are. It doesn’t matter how good at sex you are. If a woman isn’t comfortable in your presence, she will not have sex with you. So take an objective look at your personality and attitude and try to understand what exactly it is that makes her uncomfortable.


It’s a first date

Most women would avoid having sex on the first date, because conventional wisdom has told them to. It doesn’t matter how handsy she was during your date, or how much she hinted she wanted to have sex with you.


She's afraid of flings

Many women believe (and rightly so) that having sex on the first date gives men the wrong impression – that the woman is looking nothing more than sex, and thus a fling. A lot of women withhold sex till the third date (or beyond) to make sure that they and the men they are dating are on the same page.


Circumstances matter

Sometimes the reason why she won't sleep with you is neither you nor her. It’s just the circumstances. For example, your date ends at 10pm, and she really does want to have sex with you but then her house is an hour away, which means she will be well past midnight when she gets home. Obviously, staying at your place isn’t an option since your relationship hasn't reached that stage yet, so she’d rather wait and have sex when she’s at a more comfortable distance from her home. Or possibly, there are no nearby motels in sight and both your apartments are too far away. Or maybe she had a rough day at work and just wants to sleep in late.


She has low self-esteem

Such women believe that they don’t have much to offer to their dates, and that sex too would not be enough. She might also believe that since she’s so "humble" the only reason you’re dating her is because you want to just have sex with her, which would instantly put her off. Obviously, not your fault and there’s not much you can do about it either.


It may be due to past trauma

This happens in a very small number of cases, but it’s still a reason as to why she won't sleep with you. It’s possible that she suffered psychological trauma, like sexual abuse or assault, abusive childhood, etc., which in turn have made her believe that sex is a very violent act. So even if she does want to have sex with you, her psychological condition will hold her back.


You aren’t attractive enough

I know this one’s a massive blow to men’s egos and most men can't accept the fact that they are unattractive to the women they are dating, but it’s true. There are many levels of being attracted. So maybe you are good enough for her to share her number and go on a date with you. But when she gets to know you, she realizes she's just not that attracted to you, if not completely put off by you. In such cases, it’s best for you to introspect and try to find out what about you put her off – your attitude, personality, bad breath, overconfidence, creepy personality, etc.


She is satisfied

This didn’t even occur to you, did it? Because you thought that since she’s going on a date with you, she’d immediately stop having sex with the other man she used to have sex with. Yeah, the world is complicated. But this doesn’t apply if you’ve been exclusive/committed for a while because then that would be cheating which is absolutely wrong.


She’s a traditional/religious girl

This can definitely be the reason why she won't sleep with you. And if this is the case, there is no other way for you to go about things than to respect her beliefs. Period. Such women will have sex with you only when they are sure you are the relationship type of guy, the type who’s reliable and will make a good partner for her. And if you’re looking for a fling, be polite enough to let her know your intentions.


Personal reasons are real

Sometimes, it just so happens that the date was great, you had excellent chemistry and yet.... she won’t have sex with you. Maybe it’s because she’s on her period and she doesn’t want things to be messy on her first time having sex with you. Or maybe she wasn’t prepared for the date to go well, as a result of which she ended up wearing not-so-sexy lingerie or simply didn’t bother shaving her pubes.


There are mutual friends

If your friends set you up, the most likely reason she hasn’t had sex with you is because of fear. Not of you, but of her friends. She doesn’t want her friends to think she’s so easy that she would have sex with a guy she barely even knows. So she might go through the channels of dating traditions (i.e. the 3rd date) before she finally decides to have sex with you. Here, you just have to be patient, respect her and be kind to her.


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