If we try to picture a sociopath the image that usually comes to mind is a crazy eyed, deranged person straight out of a horror movie. While this can be true sometimes, most often they are perfectly normal. You may not even realize that you are dealing with a sociopath. According to scientific research the disorder has a broad spectrum. It is not always just black or white; there are numerous shades of grey in between. And if you are married to one, the dreams of living happily ever after can turn into dreadful nightmares.
Signs You Are Married to a Sociopath
He Seldom Tells the Truth
The chief symptoms of sociopaths are constant deception and lies. They are likely to get away with their lies and if you catch them it is very easy for them to talk their way out of the situation. We all lie at some point or other but most of the lies are harmless and we do feel guilty afterwards. Sociopaths are skilled at the art of telling a lie and seldom feel any remorse afterwards. They do not think about the damage their lies can cause to other people.
He Is Impulsive
Sociopaths are always impulsive and take decisions without weighing the pros and cons. They usually do things because they just feel like doing them. They are less likely to put any thought into their plans and the plans can change drastically from time to time. If you are married to a sociopath you can observe this behavior pattern repeatedly.
He Can Be Violent
Sociopaths are generally very good at talking their way out of any trouble. They do show issues regarding violence and their violent outbursts are noticeable. They can be very apologetic after a violent outburst and they often show how regretful they are for behaving this way. For example they may hit you or your children in sudden rage and after seconds they will confess how sorry they are for doing so. They might say that they need help to sort out these issues. They do need help but do remember that it is not easy to change their behavior patterns.
He Does Not Take Responsibility
Another classic sign of a sociopath is shirking from responsibilities. They do not pay much attention to fulfill their duties and obligations and commitments often mean nothing to them. They take responsibilities as a burden and usually run away from them. These people are likely to have a bad credit history and usually do not hold a long term job. If you are married to someone showing these signs, you need to realize the fact that they have sociopath tendencies and need help.
He Is a Great Charmer
Sociopaths are intelligent enough to know how to stay away from any kind of trouble. They are extremely manipulative and cunning and are great charmers. They do tend to get what they want and appear totally normal. Only mental health professionals can diagnose a true sociopath and if you think you are married to a sociopath, you need to encourage him to seek professional help.
Both of You Are Alike
People with sociopath tendencies often try mirroring the other person. You might think that both of you love the same things but in fact they are just observing your choices and pretending to like the same things. Since they are very manipulative they can sense what is close to your heart and in order to get closer they can show interest in similar things. If you have been through a rough phase in your life they can assure you that they have been through a similar situation and that is the reason they understand you perfectly. In fact they do not have any real personality; they just tell you what you want to hear.
Things in Bed Are Great
To please you and to keep you attached to him, a sociopath will do anything. They will go out of their way to make sure you are hooked to them and this means that they will be great in bed. People who have been in a relationship with, or married to a sociopath often describe that their sex life was amazing. Do not ignore the warning signs just because he gives you multiple orgasms.
The Mask Has Some Cracks
The perfect mask, behind which the sociopaths hide, can show some cracks. Sometimes they can say or do things which are completely irrelevant or downright insane. You can be having a quiet dinner and they may just blurt out “I am cheating on you”, then they will just laugh it off and say that it was just a joke or they were teasing you. Be careful in these situations.
Tips for Dealing with a Sociopath
Seek Professional Help
Sociopaths like to control and dominate, they can manipulate you easily. The best thing for you is to talk to a professional and know how to deal with this type of behavior. When you talk to a therapist you will be able to see the relationship from another perspective and it will become easy for you to understand your situation. This will also help you to deal with their urge to control and manipulate you.
Identify Your Weaknesses
To deal with the manipulative behavior you need to understand your weaknesses and learn how to cope when a sociopath tries to use them against you. It is also very important to know your strengths and get your confidence and self esteem back.
It is good to read about the disorder and to know how it has affected you. Find some good books, browse the internet and get as much information as you can. This will enable you to understand yourself and to identify the damage done by a sociopath.
Understand That This Is Not Your Fault
The most important thing is to realize that all of this is not your fault. You are the one who is being manipulated and deceived and no one deserves to be treated like that. You don’t have to take any blame for anything. Have faith in yourself and do not give anyone the freedom to hurt you.