Not everybody is into serious relationships; and a lot of people want to be in casual relationships, which are those "hookups" that have no emotional commitment to them (think Donell Jones’ All This Love). Along the line though, there is always the chance that one person will want to commit, and we can’t have both. When it gets there, it becomes awkward if nothing is done about it and even if something is done, the whole relationship may fizzle automatically with one wanting to be casual and the other wanting to commit. So here are some tips on how to keep that casual relationship casual.
How to Keep It Casual
Don’t get family involved
This is a big "No No" if a relationship is to stay casual. Family is nice, which makes up 70% of everyone's "core values". And you don’t want your families to know about your fling, probably because you won't tell them it is a fling; if not, your mom and dad would probably pester you a lot about your partner, and perhaps even want to invite him or her for lunch or dinner. Eww, right?
Don’t spend too much time with them
If a relationship is to stay casual, then scheduled dates or meetings should be few and widely spaced. One sign that a relationship is getting serious is that you begin to see each other more often than you’d like (this is usually accompanied by the feeling of not being able to stay without the person). To be safe and to avoid emotional entanglement, limit these meetings to at most once a week. This will help if you are losing grip on how to keep it casual. The more you two see each other, the higher are the chances that one of you falls in love with the other.
Don’t publicize it
Seriously, no Instagram pics with them. It is true that, someday sooner or later, one may really want to tell the world about it, and why not? It really is fun and we want to "share" our relationship status on Facebook. But this is kind of like the case of introducing your partner to your family; the only difference is that now it is friends and acquaintances (even professional ones) who will be questioning you.
The more you are asked about a person, the more you will feel responsible for him or her (in a way). Sure, tell your bestie, but it is best if you keep your fling off all social media accounts. Don’t forget this very important fact – people can be judgmental as hell, especially when it comes to women.
Don’t invite them to intimate events
Simply put, the main purpose of events is to create memories that will eat away at your subconscious, eliminate distance between one another and enhance emotional connections. This is definitely not how to keep it casual. One more serious note, birthdays, graduations, weddings and the like are occasions people go to with those they are serious about. Not flings. So, for the sake of all the fun you are having right now, do not get your partner involved in such intimate event.
Make sure you both know it is casual
This is a very important rule. Perhaps it is the most important rule on this list. Although the relationship is supposed to be fun and easy going, it doesn’t give any of the parties the right to trample on the other’s emotions. Both parties should have clear cut ground rules which they will stick to if the relationship is going to work; and those rules should state, above all else, that the relationship is casual and that it will stay casual until the day it ends.
Be clear that it is going to END
This has to be accomplished, whether by a conversation between both parties or otherwise – it is a must. This is important for the relationship and it is a good tip on how to keep it casual. The reason is this that first off, both parties are clear about what they are getting into. Second, if for some reason you find yourself slipping into the serious phase, a reminder from your partner comes as a boon. Being clear also will greatly reduce the chances of the relationship getting serious and complicated in the future.
Avoid serious conversations
No talk about life goals or dreams for the future; it is best to also avoid touching or traumatic stories from the past. If conversations must happen, they should be centered on common interests like football, golf or even the Kardashians. Far too many casual relationships end up as serious relationships (of course that is before they really end up as disasters) due to the fact that one or both participants break this golden how-to-keep-it-casual rule. Don’t let this be you.