Happiness means different things to different people. For a college student, happiness is finally getting her college degree and then her dream job. For a father, happiness is to see his children perform exceptionally well in school. And a new cruelty free bakery opening right next door is a source of joy for a vegan food blogger. At the end of the day, everybody wants something or the other which ultimately makes them happy. Do you know how to make yourself happy?
How to Find Happiness
Happiness is a choice
But how it can be a choice, you may ask. Simple. Let me illustrate with this example:
The dad whose happiness resides in his children performing well at school? Well, what if he chooses to be happy at his children performing OK in school? What if he gives a little more emphasis on telling his children to live their lives happily, instead of encouraging them to ace their tests? I’m not saying that he should or shouldn’t. I’m just showing you that by shifting the focus of his happiness and simply choosing a different route, the father can easily become happier.
It’s the same with you! YOU choose what makes you happy and what doesn’t. You’re in charge!
Don't rely on other people to make you happy
The more expectations you have from people, the higher your chances are of being disappointed. So why even bother expecting happiness or anything from anybody? I mean sure, you can obsess over little details and blame every wrong in your life on other people, but will placing that blame on them solve your current predicament? I don’t think so.
Instead of putting yourself at the mercy of others, make yourself the only one responsible for your happiness. This is one of the most direct ways on how to find happiness.
Shift your focus
I know how difficult it becomes to lose yourself and/or your peace of mind when something terrible happens in life. Believe me, I’ve been there. The situation is so overwhelmingly negative that you can’t help but be negative yourself. But know that you do have an option and you can choose to focus less of your time on that incident and more of your time on productive activities. Because let’s face it – mourning over your ex isn’t going to bring him or her back, but working on that project and delivering it before time is sure as hell going to impress your boss.
Take time out to be grateful
Alright, seriously. What was the last time you looked up at the sky above you and thanked God or the universe for giving you SO much to be grateful for? And no, Thanksgiving prayers do not count. See? Nobody does it because we’re too busy and too used to taking everything in our life for granted, including our relationships. Be grateful for the smallest of things and be grateful for the biggest of things.
For example, if in a shitty week of constant rainfall, it suddenly stops raining and you get to see the beautiful sun. Close your eyes, look up to the sky, smile and say, "Thanks for this beautiful sunny day in a week of constant rain. I am so happy it stopped raining, even if for a few minutes." instead of saying, "Damn it. The sun only shines for 2 hours and then it rains again!" Trust me, you’ll feel instantly better with this type of positive thoughts.
Get rid of jealousy
How to find happiness? Well, say no to jealousy. You really don’t get anything out of being jealous, except feeling more jealous and miserable. So why not get rid of this completely negative feeling? Plus, there will always be someone who’s better looking than you, thinner than you or more successful than you. Hey, we have 7 billion people on this planet, remember?
Why don’t you instead compare yourself with others who are worse off than you and be happy about how far you’ve come or how much you’ve achieved?
Being imperfect is okay
Nobody’s perfect. Even those models that you get to see on the cover of Cosmo are photoshopped to death to look “perfect”. Know why? Because they aren’t perfect. Learn to like yourself and be confident. It can be difficult sometimes, I know. But a work in progress is better than no work at all.
This doesn’t work for selfish people, of course. But if you’re a helpful person, then why not help someone find happiness in their life? I mean, not the profound type of happiness that I’ve talked about in this article, but the more materialistic type of happiness. You can start from the small things in life, like helping a neighbour move her chairs across her lawn, or offering cold water to trash collectors on a hot day. Because who says the answer to "how to find happiness" means focusing on just yourself?
Some things just cannot be changed
Acknowledge it, accept it, and then move on with your life. Giving such things even a minute of your life is wasting 60 precious seconds. Don’t do that!
Change what you can
Think you’re too fat? Join a gym and maintain a strict diet.
Don’t like how you’re treated at the office? Stand up for yourself. Learn to put your foot down.
Don’t like how jealous your boyfriend gets? Talk it out with him and if he doesn’t understand, then dump his sorry ass.
Don’t forget – happiness is in your hands! And finally...