Flirting is a lot of fun, especially when you’re confident and single. I mean, what’s not to like? You go up to a stranger, initiate a conversation by, say, complimenting them on something, have a friendly banter and both of you have a good time with each other. Of course, once you’re committed, flirting becomes a no-no. But what if your girlfriend keeps flirting with other guys after you are in a committed relationship?
Why Your Girlfriend Flirts with Other Guys
She is insecure
In all probability, the reason she even bothers flirting with other men is because she’s insecure about her looks/appearance. She has low self-esteem. Flirting with other men and receiving a positive response from them reassure her and reaffirm her faith in her looks. If this is the case, then the only way for you to work around it is to make her feel confident. Compliment her when she does something good, do not unnecessarily criticise her, tell her ever so often how beautiful she is, and make her feel wanted.
You neglect her
Maybe you’ve been in a relationship with each other too long, and you’re stuck in a rut. Things aren’t as interesting for you as they were in the beginning, and she misses that part about you. She’s completely bored. So, since you’re not the one flirting with her every once in a while, she looks for her needs elsewhere. Here, you should spice things up a little bit by going the extra mile for her – romantic dates, surprise gifts, a little flirting and teasing here and there...... this works!
She wants to make you jealous/angry
Some women are stupid enough to “assess” how much their men like them. And what is the better way to know about their feelings than involving a strange man? All these mannerisms and flirtatious actions are nothing but her twisted way of seeing how you will react to her behaving like this with other men.
Jealous = you love her
Nonchalance = you don’t care about her
Simple as that.
It’s a power play
Sometimes, your girlfriend flirts with other guys because of power play. There are a few women out there who like to totally be in charge of their relationships, and in order to do so, they have to be the one in hold of the dynamics of the relationship. If you’re good with the ladies, it might push her into showing you that she’s no less. Or flirting with men could be her way of showing you who’s the boss. Either way, this gives her the option of showing you that she’s the one in charge, she has many options and she can break up with you any time she wants, because everybody finds her attractive.
She just likes being the centre of attention
Sometimes, you can give her all the attention in the world and it would still not be enough for her. Of course, it’s her personality flaw and you can either talk it out to solve this together, or if you cannot handle her behaving like this with other guys, you can dump her. There’s no other way to work things around this one.
Society has double standards
Ah, double standards. When men are being friendly with women, they are being gentlemen. But when women are being friendly with men, they are being flirty. Did you ever give that a second thought? Maybe all she’s trying to do is be nice and polite, but it’s you that forces you to believe that she’s flirting, when, in reality, she’s simply being a decent human being.
She looks down on you
Ah. Look. Being open minded is one thing but to let her walk all over you like a doormat is a completely different thing. If your girlfriend flirts with other guys a lot, then this is most likely because she has an edge over you – she’s prettier, smarter or even richer than you. This lets her think she has the right to do as she pleases, which includes disrespecting you and your wishes. Giving a partner too much power can be a source of problem too.
She wants to break up
Much like men, many women find it tough to break things up with a partner. So they resort to passive aggressive measures, which force their partners to dump them instead. Her going out of her way to flirt with guys to make you uncomfortable or to deliberately humiliate you might be a sign that she wants to end things with you.
What to Do When Your Girlfriend Flirts with Other Guys
In all probability, she may not even realize she’s flirting. Women often are friendly with men without even realizing that their words or expressions could be mistaken as flirting. And also, maybe your definition of flirting differs from her definition. So while laughing and touching the shoulder of another woman might constitute as flirting for you, her doing the same with a man is nothing but a friendly gesture.
Look at yourself
Do not expect her to make compromises when you yourself are guilty of being flirty with women. And before you say, "Who me?" know that what you may consider as being friendly might be perceived as flirtation by your girlfriend and other women. Make a change in your attitude and the annoying "my girlfriend flirts with other guys" will be easily solved.
Talk to her
If it’s her not realizing what she’s doing, then sit down and talk to her. Tell her which of her actions make you uncomfortable and request her not to behave like that again, at least not when in the presence of people you know. Set down some boundaries. Tell which type of flirtations you’re okay with, and which type you’re not.