Sometimes people will search for a method of ending their lives quickly and painlessly and there are the most used ways when commit suicide but none of this is really painless.
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I'm sitting in the dark in the bathroom of my job, I've thought of jumping off the building, throwing myself down a few flights of stairs or getting in my car and running it off a cliff. However I kill myself I don't want anyone else to get hurt by me trying to hurt myself. It's kind of crazy because after reading some of the comments below I realized when you kill yourself you will still be causing others pain matter of fact you're causing more pain to them now than you did before. My greatest fear is leaving my daughters alone but I feel over time they'll forget and be OK. I also fear death itself and to me that makes me feel even more weak. I remember about 15 years ago being content, I'm not sure that I've ever been truly happy. I am 34 now and I feel sad almost everyday. There are times throughout the day where I feel content but it does not last long. Being in the customer service field I've learned to mask my emotions, I think that might be my expertise. Underneath I'm unhappy I'm not further in my career, I have two different baby daddies and still not married, I have no friends because they have all accused me of talking behind their backs when I learned that trait from them. I'm also unhappy with my weight and the cravings I get for ice cream or cookies, I'm unhappy about the way people treat me and how they don't ever seem interested in what I have to say. I'm frustrated at work or socially due to anxiety causing sweating, shaking and miscommunication. I have smoked so much weed I can't remember what happened yesterday. Now I've gone to my car and put tennis balls in the muffler, how long will it take for carbon monoxide to kill me???
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I can't take this anymore. No body knows about my depression, well they will find out soon though. I lost the most important person in my life last year, life has just gone downhill since. I have been bullied since year 3 and became anorexic because I was called fat, even thought I'm not.I'm also a self-harmer, I always have to get stitches and I say I fall over or my dog did it. I'm alone, can't deal with life anymore (and yes I'm 12yr old girl) moreover, I have a nan who hates me and kicked me out when I was like three so we had to move, she keeps hitting me all the time, like trying to break my arms, and when I hit back (I'm a boxer) and she cries, my mum and dad hit me. Really hard (they both are bodybuilders and boxers)// I have developed anger issues and I hurt people when I can't control myself. And I hate myself for it. I have tried countless times to commit but I just can't. It never works. I JUST WANT TO DIE, I WAS A MISTAKE so, if my mum, dad, brothers, friends are reading this, here is a message, even though I'm gone now, (I'm committing) I just can't take this life anymore, put on a fake smile and personality everyday just to not get caught. I'm sorry I didn't get help, I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone, I'm sorry. Life got so hard, loosing the only one who has only cared about me, not being loved, having people who you thought were your friends, talk shit behind my back when I was there, being abuse, feeling worthless, being to violent, self harming, anorexia. I know there is lots more but I just don't want to share that. Goodbye...
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I want to quite.my life is like a hell.every person in this world is selfish. I don't wanna be here anymore.if god loves me please take me with you.
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I hate myself so much. I am 24 years old was kicked out at 16. I try and try to make my mum proud of me with everything I do but nothing goes right. It is all wrong I am in thousands pounds worth of debt. I have no friends as everyone in my life just ends up deciding that I am not worthy of their time. My dad wants nothing to do with me, everyone just seems like they tolerate me. Every night I pray to God to just not let me wake up!! I am so tired of living this life such a worthless existence with no direction. I have felt like this for 2 years it has been a battle with myself I cry every night hurt people around me through anger at everything then feel guilty for being a giant f up!! I can't take it I'm so worthless I don't even have the guts to end it all!!! After 2 years there is nothing more 4 me I don't remember what genuine laughter or happiness feels like anymore. I hate waking up and as soon as I get the courage I'm gone and that will be the only great thing I have accomplished!!! I am cursed to live on this planet it is a cruel joke if I wasn't here at all everyone would be happier
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I know that there are people in worst situations that I am, but steel doesn't make me change my mind in thinking that I have no mission in this planet, I screw up everything that I touch, I destroy everyone that I meet, I'm a terrible person and it's not in my control!! I had cancer, my parents beet me up, I'm a drop out of school, no job, no house, no family and no one to call!!! Only a few years ago I had everything but then people started saying that I'm too complicated for them and that I don't appreciate! That's not true but they don't give a chance, everyone has they own problems! They don't care about listening mine! I'm a looser and I have no mission here, I'm just writing here to say goodbye, there's no one else to say it. Bye
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I just feel so sad. I've been masking so much pain from the people I love the most. it's bc I am unable to make a decision that could possibly be for the best instead of harp on what could be. I am so sad inside. i do think of the pain I will cause others but to no longer feel the pain of what I've been holding in - would be better
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Watching that bitch saying i dont really want to kill myself made me feel like "fuck you i wont listen to that bitch. I gave her a chance and shes provoking me!"
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Strangely, it appears that some humans are not born to be an acceptable measure of what is expected in the world we live in. I am one of those people that view life as beautiful and I love life but I am not not fit to have life. I have a beautiful family, wife and four kids. I continue to grossly embarrass them, hurt their friendships and stand in their way to enjoy life to the fullest. I am not an animal or anything but I have bipolar and my behaviour is often erratic and my social judgement is seriously eroded. I didn't ask God to make me this way and I did not ask y parents to pass this on to me but it is juts the luck I have been born with. I cant live with myself anymore, I am unable to look myself in the mirror and take responsibility for things in which I do not feel are wrong but yet society tells me that they are. I love life and feel it has much to offer to those that can find the way to manipulate their circumstances to fit their personal needs; one of the major things I have not been able to do. I cant see how I can contribute any more to my family or to society; therefore, I think that I would be best to take up a jar somewhere on someone's shelf. In saying that, the jar would probably fall over, break and damage something irreplaceable. Maybe throw me out to the ocean and let the fish eat me; hopefully, I wouldn't kill the fish. I am angry with those that have hurt me and feel that one day I could even choose to harm them all. I am a coward though and cant fight for myself or my family but I am willing to fight for things that do not matter in life. Go figure!! Therefore, it is unlikely that the people I am angry with will ever see me again as I am afraid to fight because I will almost certainly loose the fight and the war. I am looking for the right place, time and way to end it all. My life no longer has meaning and it needs to come to an end to save the people around me from a lifetime of pain.
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I want to die as soon as posible. Bt I have a son chinnu. when I look into him I cant control my self to cry. I love him so much. He too loves me much. Due to husband torture I cant able live. If I have a another birth I never ever go for marriage. Listen unmarried girls beware of marraige..... I love u chinnu love u soooooo much.....ra
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I let my best friend over thirty five years move in to help her out she had Achilles with autism she had to sell things to pay rent . Her family is screwed up. In highs cool my family was more of a family she would escape to my house for shelter. Anyway I talked my husband of 29 years to let her move in help her out so she could go back to school. He agreed but said if she coarse problems in are marriage she's gone. She lived rent free I watch her kid so she could go to school,let her carnage bedroom set on my credit card ,use a car took her on trips for free. My father died and she made it all about her, over the years she saw the crack in my marriage, and slowly mupilated her way into my marriage, right before the years annivasary of my dad death found out she had been having sex with my husband for a whole year. More to it can't go into it now but she is now gone, but I hurt everyday from the double betrayal. I feel like a fool and a shell of my self. Can't stand the hurt which I already suffer from depression.mtrying to deal with dad s death with no closer and this I am tired don't want to live another day
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